i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
