This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
