I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
