We named our party play list daddy issues
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs