Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.