Texts From Last Night

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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just spent $27 on things to pee on.

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  (484): I just spent $27 on things to pee on. http://tfl.nu/pmzm
  Replies (30) Good night (1781) Bad night (4058)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.

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  (765): I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position. http://tfl.nu/oixi
  Replies (14) Good night (4664) Bad night (1378)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.

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  (262): We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool. http://tfl.nu/01zv
  Replies (25) Good night (7492) Bad night (1022)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.

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  (713): Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day. http://tfl.nu/o38r
  Replies (4) Good night (2037) Bad night (796)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here

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  (303): there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here http://tfl.nu/yv0c
  Replies (4) Good night (1199) Bad night (572)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.

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  (989): Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door. http://tfl.nu/7hia
  Replies (4) Good night (1410) Bad night (672)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons

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  (917): You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons http://tfl.nu/5vf8
  Replies (3) Good night (1242) Bad night (505)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.

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  (252): i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no. http://tfl.nu/99ae
  Replies (8) Good night (1861) Bad night (650)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.

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  (617): like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds. http://tfl.nu/7cy7
  Replies (2) Good night (1124) Bad night (549)
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  (585): View more from New York

  It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.

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  (585): It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate. http://tfl.nu/p0j4
  Replies (4) Good night (1057) Bad night (606)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.

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  (248): All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude. http://tfl.nu/8z2h
  Replies (8) Good night (2189) Bad night (504)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster

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  (864): It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster http://tfl.nu/qctl
  Replies (4) Good night (458) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN

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  (406): I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN http://tfl.nu/6se9
  Replies (1) Good night (292) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.

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  (+61): The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night. http://tfl.nu/ec1i
  Replies (0) Good night (905) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..

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  (858): someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty.. http://tfl.nu/ruec
  Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (340)

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