Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...