We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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