Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.

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  (724): so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca. (412): That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia. http://tfl.nu/lbkk
  Replies (84) Good night (2736) Bad night (948)
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  (916): View more from California

  We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.

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  (916): We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea. http://tfl.nu/qdx4
  Replies (8) Good night (769) Bad night (3298)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.

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  (405): I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/im6u
  Replies (43) Good night (4709) Bad night (905)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.

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  (602): Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest. http://tfl.nu/apc8
  Replies (37) Good night (9080) Bad night (1301)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.

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  (316): If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already. http://tfl.nu/vt4q
  Replies (13) Good night (2947) Bad night (1098)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.

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  (920): He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer. http://tfl.nu/1gb8
  Replies (1) Good night (1753) Bad night (900)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....

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  (410): Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink..... http://tfl.nu/vd91
  Replies (13) Good night (934) Bad night (1818)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.

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  (973): Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool. http://tfl.nu/yku5
  Replies (16) Good night (611) Bad night (2892)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  wow. THAT good huh

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  (778): he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year (604): wow. THAT good huh http://tfl.nu/7t5m
  Replies (16) Good night (2020) Bad night (591)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.

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  (253): He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child. http://tfl.nu/jtoq
  Replies (3) Good night (503) Bad night (1169)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.

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  (815): We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever. http://tfl.nu/gebx
  Replies (0) Good night (869) Bad night (636)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.

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  (616): just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day. http://tfl.nu/tw65
  Replies (4) Good night (762) Bad night (625)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered

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  (336): I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered http://tfl.nu/tx8s
  Replies (4) Good night (982) Bad night (394)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?

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  (478): Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night? http://tfl.nu/3zr4
  Replies (3) Good night (496) Bad night (305)
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  (347): View more from New York

  You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you

  (718): View more from New York

  yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.

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  (347): You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you (718): yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though. http://tfl.nu/d46w
  Replies (0) Good night (878) Bad night (364)

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