Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I want to make a zoo with you.

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  (509): I want to make a zoo with you. http://tfl.nu/c924
  Replies (5) Good night (1515) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

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  (215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section http://tfl.nu/5gr0
  Replies (1639) Good night (171211) Bad night (43235)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.

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  (209): Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/an4l
  Replies (9) Good night (669) Bad night (3781)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?

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  (815): He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing? http://tfl.nu/c8yk
  Replies (36) Good night (6251) Bad night (1474)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech

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  (248): i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech http://tfl.nu/b8ee
  Replies (18) Good night (3938) Bad night (1332)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.

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  (207): We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks. http://tfl.nu/8fko
  Replies (3) Good night (1444) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'

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  (305): New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made' http://tfl.nu/jx5j
  Replies (1) Good night (1011) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon

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  (402): You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon http://tfl.nu/n4f7
  Replies (16) Good night (1177) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.

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  (518): Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke. http://tfl.nu/lmdn
  Replies (8) Good night (1422) Bad night (1326)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.

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  (817): I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream. http://tfl.nu/kzw3
  Replies (16) Good night (642) Bad night (2065)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.

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  (404): Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining. http://tfl.nu/2wxu
  Replies (8) Good night (3850) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!

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  (336): dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems! http://tfl.nu/qsei
  Replies (4) Good night (861) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous

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  (515): Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous http://tfl.nu/c0i4
  Replies (1) Good night (782) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese

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  (614): I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese http://tfl.nu/xpqp
  Replies (2) Good night (771) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.

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  (703): You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk. http://tfl.nu/3xuk
  Replies (0) Good night (837) Bad night (304)

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