so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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