i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
im having a threesome with these popsicles
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
