I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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