She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
