A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
