Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Pooping to opera.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
