i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
