I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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