Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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