They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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