Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Jerry, you need to find god
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
