R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
