what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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