Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize