Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
