I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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