Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
