If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
