You're so nebulous sometimes
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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