It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
