I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
