I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
