where am i from again
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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