I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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