Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
