My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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