What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
