At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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