I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
