You surviving the open bar?
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Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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