What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i think my mom watched the whole time
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
