I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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