Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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