Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We had sex on a dog bed..
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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