Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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