he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
wow bdsm is so cute
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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