we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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