thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
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I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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