I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
