I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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