He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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