woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
