I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
