Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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