Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
