are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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