Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Your penis caused this!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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