I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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