I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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