i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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