Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
