So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
