Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
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We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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