What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
