tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
why does every cop we meet know your name?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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