I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Dick very happy bro
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
