I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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