I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
