Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
